I have been struggling to decide on a topic for my second featured blogger post. I had initially thought to share my wedding theme and bridesmaids ideas, but these elements seem much less relevant than they did a month ago (don’t worry! I promise that I will have plenty of that sort of thing in the future). I recently hit a sort of turning point in the wedding process at which time -pardon my french- sh*t got real.

I was a tomboy growing up, and I never spent my days dreaming up the perfect wedding. So my wedding inspiration blog was an incredibly liberating experience. I discovered an infatuation with tissue pom poms, feather headpieces and invitation suites. I came to idolize Martha Stewart and her many websites. For three months, I gorged myself on wedding eye candy and gabbed non-stop with my girlfriends. The possibilities seemed limitless and magical.
Since that time, Jeff and I have written two wedding checks: one deposit for the ceremony venue, and one for the reception venue. Now that 11% of our budget is gone, all of the decisions became, for lack of a better phrase, distinctly heavier. Setting the date and the venues means that now the save-the-dates can be finalized, and the invitation can be drafted. But are the colors I picked good enough? Suddenly we have to decide on a menu and start looking at hotel and flight options for out of town guests.
Maybe some women, the kind that have been planning their wedding since before April, have stronger wedding convictions than I, but I just can’t help it. It is impossible not to second guess each choice, even the ones I was absolutely convinced about weeks ago. My 45-minute subway rides to and from work are spent agonizing over every detail. Will my wedding colors be tacky? Should I wear a tea-length wedding dress? Is there too much time in between the ceremony and reception? Will a lone cello sound funny? … ARGH.
I have started carrying a journal everywhere I go, so that when these random questions hit, I can just get them out of my brain. Paging through the journal now, I find it funny how something that seems so important in your head can look pretty silly once it’s written down. At the end of the day, I keep reminding myself that the most important things on my wedding day will be that I married my best friend, and that our closest friends and family came to share in that joy with us.
Of course, it wouldn’t hurt if the wedding colors were inspiring, or the cellist was a big hit too. (Clearly, I need more help than a journal can provide.)
Are you like me, and are having difficulty with your wedding choices? How are you coping with the stress?
And if you’re not like me, do you have any tips on how I can get some cajones and just make the freaking decisions already?